Harriette Cole: The parents didn’t tell me about the scary episode at the sleepover

DEAR HARRIETTE I m feeling frustrated and concerned after a modern experience involving my -year-old daughter Related Articles Harriette Cole I m feeling uneasy about what I did to help my friend Harriette Cole I feel violated even though technically nothing happened Harriette Cole My -year-old s day care meltdowns are a big matter Harriette Cole How can I get him to stop smoking around the kids Harriette Cole I crossed a line with my girlfriend How do I get her back She has a severe peanut allergy Last weekend I allowed her to spend the night at her friend s house for the first time I made sure to inform the other child s parents ahead of time about her allergy and even sent her EpiPen with her just in situation They assured me they understood and would be careful However when my daughter came home the next day she communicated me that she was given something that contained peanut butter She ended up having an allergic reaction and had to use her EpiPen while at their house The parents never contacted me about the episode If my daughter hadn t described me I would not have known that she had a potentially life-threatening reaction while under their care I m trying to decide how to approach the other parents about what happened How would you suggest I handle this conversation Life-Threatening DEAR LIFE-THREATENING Whenever someone requirements to use an EpiPen the next step can sometimes be a visit to the hospital to get examined The person having the reaction must be monitored by someone familiar with their condition to make sure the reactions are fully resolved and do not return It is also recommended that people with life-threatening allergies carry two EpiPens in event a second dose is needed You should contact the parents forthwith and ask what happened Tell them that your daughter informed you of her allergic reaction and the need to use the EpiPen Ask why they didn t contact you right now and have you come get your daughter There is no excuse for their behavior I imagine they were frightened and embarrassed that this happened on their watch Since she seemed to be OK after using the medicine they may have thought they were in the clear That is no excuse You should be upset and you should not allow your daughter to spend the night there again This doesn t mean that she can never have a sleepover again Instead make the policies clear with any other parents as to how to care for your daughter to avoid an allergic reaction and what to do if one occurs DEAR HARRIETTE In your contemporary answer to Guilty the person who got a friend sick by being around her when contagious you missed an opportunity to highlight the importance and politeness of wearing a mask when sick and the intelligence of wearing one to prevent yourself from getting sick both daily and before a big event that you don t want to miss Masks have become foolishly political despite having been used like this in Asia for decades before COVID- began Get Smart Related Articles Miss Manners Was I rude to ask where they got the swell walker Dear Abby I m afraid this celebrity now thinks I m a jerk Should I try to smooth things over Asking Eric I let my friend move in and every day is chaos Harriette Cole I m feeling uneasy about what I did to help my friend Miss Manners We didn t realize we drank all the champagne for the whole plane DEAR GET SMART Great suggestion I live in New York City and I remember seeing people on the subway and in the streets wearing masks years before the pandemic I thought about it when we all began to wear masks Chosen people had looked at those mask-wearers with disdain and curiosity but a large number of of the people wearing the masks were from densely populated areas and it was a safety precaution long before COVID- spread You are right that it can literally be a lifesaver now Another positive side effect is that wearing a mask during allergy season dramatically cuts back on allergy responses in chosen patients Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO