Dear Abby: I work on the road and come home to this chaos
DEAR ABBY I m years old and have a friend from the military I ve known for more than years Related Articles Dear Abby I had feelings for my boss and then I was fired Can I call him now Dear Abby She won t dye her hair for her husband When did women get so touchy Dear Abby My sister changed her story about why she abandoned us Dear Abby I provoked my fiancee with the wedding photos and she hit the roof Dear Abby I don t think I owe my diva stepdaughter an apology A couple of years ago he petitioned to move into my one-bedroom apartment to help him deal with retirement and straighten out his bills debt and child advocacy I agreed because I had started working on the road and wasn t in a relationship He sleeps on the couch and I m fine with that He also helps with half the rent and the utility bill The dilemma is when I come home from the road I find he hasn t cleaned at all He keeps my place very dirty The AC is filthy the bathroom is moldy and messy from his hair dye and the kitchen is greasy from his cooking My living and dining rooms are full of his stuff He also doesn t take hints when I have company over I love him like a brother but I need him to leave I do worry about paying my full rent and the mail that accumulates in my absence He doesn t even bother to let me know about central mail when it arrives I love the assistance he s given in the past but it has run its curriculum What should I do GOOD BUDDY IN VIRGINIA DEAR GOOD BUDDY I will assume that in the past you have explained your roommate that you didn t like the shape your apartment was in when you returned from the road If you didn t you should have Because you want him out tell him that you now want the place to yourself and set a date for him to find another place to live If you don t speak up and draw the line it will never happen DEAR ABBY My fiancee and I have been arguing almost every day We have been verbally and emotionally hurting each other I love her very much but she has a severe alcohol disorder and I want her to stop drinking She keeps begging me for money whenever she runs out of her own She wants me to buy her more alcohol but I refuse She has been mean and abusive to the people she loves including me I suffer from anxiety and depression and see a therapist to deal with my mental vitality My therapist suggested that my fiancee and I have couples counseling but we are on a waiting list I am also looking into attending Al-Anon meetings for patronage I don t know what else to do to save my relationship Please help DEPRESSED IN NEW YORK DEAR DEPRESSED Between you and your therapist I d say you have your ducks pretty well in a row Related Articles Asking Eric My children are getting stupider and I despair of leaving them my hard-earned money Harriette Cole How do I talk to my roommate about this daily disruption Miss Manners Can I stop feeding my guests to get them to leave Dear Abby I had feelings for my boss and then I was fired Can I call him now Harriette Cole My twins are getting snappish over college acceptance Because you and your alcoholic fiancee are wait-listed for couples counseling start getting more of the emotional advocacy you need by attending those Al-Anon meetings Dealing with an angry manipulative addict can be soul-crushing Joining that society will give you insight and perspective Please remember that saving your relationship isn t a solo effort At particular point your fiancee must decide which to choose her drinking or you If she can t give up the bottle you may need to save yourself I am glad you have a therapist Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
